WEST TAKE MAXIMUM POINTS IN GRIM ENCOUNTER
West Malvern began their 2011 league campaign amid pastures new at Astwood Bank , Hancox the home captain electing to bat on a green-tinged wicket and outfield that promised much leg work and few boundaries, a surprise decision that the Wests captain O’Connell, resplendent in a new auburn beard, was happy with. Gammon was the pick of the Wests opening bowlers, providing copious amounts of swing in the chilly easterly gale, bowling Prescott and the aptly named Boycott in quick succession. The run rate and outfield was tortuously slow but the Wests fielders kept warm with enthusiastic fielding and, in the case of the young and promising J Blackburn, excellent catching. When his opportunity came to bowl he was soon rewarded with the prize wicket of captain Hancox by a superb in swinging delivery, his 5 overs only conceding 8 runs to go with his wicket. Dakin and Vaughan-Spencer provided more solid support and combined with sharp catches, in particular from specialist fielder Walker, the Banks total never promised to be an imposing one, in fact the reliable “extras” managed a top score of 23, this despite the athletic brilliance of the veteran gloves- man Gilbert. A final total of 119 for 8 in 45 overs were never going to bring the crowds flooding back. Dakin providing the most eye-catching figures of 4 for 35.
After an alfresco tea was taken the Wests opening batsmen Wright and Pleass set about achieving the modest total circumspectly against the accurate and youthful Astwood bowling attack, however several dropped catches meant the pair put on 90 for the first wicket, the dour Wright eventually being prized from the crease for 36 with the winning post in sight. A subdued Lloyd quickly followed leaving Pleass to strike the winning runs and finish on 55 not out.
This was not a pretty spectacle but with a maximum 24 points in the bag the West reconvened to the local hostelry happy with their days work, but also knowing that much sterner tests lay ahead, young debutants had been blooded and regulars dusted down in what promises to be a pivotal season with promotion a viable goal.
S Wright
The Day Cricket Died
A promising day of competitive cricket was anticipated but crowds were bitterly disappointed by a game which critics are comparing it to a forth day Fossil's 11 test match.
The skies were blue, the sun was shining, and when driving to the ground you thought it would be a perfect setting to start the charge for promotion into division 5. The only question on the mind was what was for tea... cucumber sandwiches or prawn mayonnaise.
The ground, originally believed to be behind the Vernon Arms, hence the delayed arrival of the muchly improved, drastically underutilized, supremely good looking F Walker, looked like a farmers sheep field... just missing the sheep (but don't panic, they were just in the pavilion getting changed). The wicket was like Shreks armpits, hairy and green, the outfield was freshly cut to grade 12, and whoever marked the creases I suggest taking up a new career path or completing primary school.
Skipper P O'Connell lost the toss and was requested to field first, which with hindsight was a blessing in disguise, with 24 points on the cards. Opening bowlers, P O'Connell and M Gammon bowled very well against some people holding bats and cushions against their legs and hands. M Gammon was the pick the of the bowlers, although, I only knew this through reading it from the original match report by S Wright, as I fell asleep in the field and was only awoken from the whistling wind circulating around the ground.
My mind turned away from the scintillating game of cricket that was unfolding and the tummy rumbled. I thought, OK, things cannot get worst, maybe tea will be lovely. The game continued, with the bowlers doing what bowlers do, although, joking aside, Jesse Blackburn is turning into a brilliant asset for the club with some superb bowling and adding a fantastic catch to dismiss the opening batperson, so, congratulations to him!!
Anyway, before I knew what was going on, the score had raced to 119 for 8 off the alloted 45 overs, that equates to 2.64 runs per over or 33.75 balls per wicket. The crowds were beginning to leave as I feel they heard that the snooker was on the TV and '7 Steps To Heaven with this ladder' was on Ideal TV.
The mighty and glorious West Malvern supreme 10 + Wrighty, left the field feeling rather tired, bored and unenthused about the cricket but the total opposite about tea time! We thought there was thunder in the air, but Kev informed us it was his tummy.
We kicked off our well worn boots and raced for sandwiches... but there's a problem. No plates. NO FRIGGIN' PLATES. The boys joke around and the lovely muppet Rowan goes for a brew with a difference... its not hot, the water isn't hot... I mean, perfect for squash, not for tea. This is not an ideal situation! In fact, it's far far far from ideal.
Anyway, after letting the food digest, the mighty and beautiful Mr Pleass and the part-timer, pinked cap pikey Wrighty, strolled out to complete the victory! Surely, they could do in no time, maybe 15 or so overs so we can all enjoy a pint or two! The bowling attack looked young and our opening batsmen looked gleamed with confidence.
Unfortunately, it didn't take 15 or so overs. It didn't take 30 overs. It took what seemed an eternity. But the boys did it. They took the fledging donkey past the winning post!
On paper a job was done, 24 points in the bag, an 8 wicket victory.... however cricket died. I'm sure it'll be resurrected next week though against Hewell... those GREAT guys in white!
What was evident from our experiences at Astwood Bank though was how lucky we are as a club to have such good facilities and members. Not just the players, but everyone associated with the club... the tea ladies, the brewers arms, our lord and master, gilbert, our other lord and master, the Phipps family etc etc.
Anyway, back to work... and by the way, the answer to the question: cucumber or prawn... neither. I think they were sat on the plates.
FW
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